i miss you so much. i miss all of you all of the time. i am overwhelmed by it. i am overwhelmed by everything. it is ridiculous that we are expected to continue with the everyday horse and pony show while everyone is dying and getting sick and being abducted and being shot at and being harassed and being stolen from, everyone is having their Life stolen from them! i am so exhausted and so tired of my Life being stolen from me. i miss you and you and you and i miss me. no one has been allowed to grieve and now everyone is haunted, more by Life than death, unable to put anything to rest leads to the contant drive to bury all that still moves. i amtrying to crawl out of the dirt without flinging it onto others. if we all start crawling away will we avoid or cause collapse?